You are old Papa Ratzi, the young priest said,
And your clerical hat has gone white.
And yet you incessantly preach to the right,
D'ye think conservative doctrine's got cred?
When John-Paul II was here, we were all taught to fear
The very mention of condoms as sinful.
Better that African children should all die of AIDS
Than our doctrine get chucked by the binful.
Here in Europe, the Holy Father went on,
We face Orthodox, Russian and Greek.
And if Turkey join Europe there will be more Moslems than Catholics
This is no time for ecumenical speak.
I'll make sure my successor is more right-wing than I
The time for liberal tolerance is passed.
And according to the Prophecy of St Malachy,
The next pope is going to be ... the last.